Two blondes were working for the city public works department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her
and fill the hole in.

They worked up one side of the street,
then down the other, then moved on to the
next street, working furiously all day without rest,
one girl digging a hole, the other girl
filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at
their hard work, but couldn’t understand what
they were doing. So he asked the hole digger,
“I’m impressed by the effort you two are putting
in to your work, but I don’t get it why do
you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow
behind and fill it up again?”

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, “Well, I suppose
it probably looks odd because we’re normally a
three-person team.

But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.”

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Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, Happy Birthday
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ‘Happy Birthday.’
I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word.
So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
“Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday.”
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said,
“You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.”

I said, “Thanks, Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”
We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said,
“You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go straight back to the office, do we?”
I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind?”
She said, “Let’s drop by my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
“Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I’ll be right back.”
“Okay” I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake….
followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers,
all singing “Happy Birthday.”

And I just sat there… On the couch…

Naked!

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The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, “This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?” The boss told her he knew he’d closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant’s question about his ‘garage door.’

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, “When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?”

She smiled and said, “No, I didn’t. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires.”

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