Two redneck football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Sugar Bowl the following week.
The exam was fill-in-the-blank.
The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a _________.”

Bubba was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn’t watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. “Pssst. Tiny. What’s the answer to the last question?”

Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn’t noticed then he turned to Bubba. “Bubba, you’re so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a farm.”

“Oh yeah,” said Bubba. “I remember now.” He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Reaching to tap Tiny’s shoulder again, he whispered, “Tiny, how do you spell farm?”

“You are really dumb, Bubba. That’s so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O.”

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A man has 50-yard-line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
“No”, he said, “the seat is empty”.

“This is incredible”, said the man.
“Who in his right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?”

Somberly, the man says, “Well… the seat actually belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come here with me, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we have not been to together since we got married in 1962.”

“Oh I’m sorry to hear that. That’s terrible.
But couldn’t you find someone else - a friend or relative,
or even a neighbor - to take the seat?”

The man shakes his head, “No. They’re all at the funeral.”

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After a two year long study, the National Science Foundation
announced the following results on corporate America’s
recreation preferences.

1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is:
Basketball.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: Bowling.
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is:Football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: Baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: Tennis.

6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: Golf.

Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure,
the smaller your balls become.

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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was:

‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’
I’m like… Helloooooo? It’s only 25 cents!!!!

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