A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read:

“Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter
I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary.”

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows:

“Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy boy.

Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18.”

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Ethel and Mabel, two elderly widows, were watching the folks go by from their park bench.

Ethel said, “You know, Mabel, I’ve been reading this ‘Sex and Marriage’ book and all they talk about is ‘mutual orgasm’. ‘Mutual orgasm’ here and mutual orgasm’ there-that’s all they talk about.

Tell me, Mabel, when your husband was alive, did you two ever have mutual orgasm?”

Mabel thought for a long while.
Finally, she shook her head and said, “No, I think we had State Farm.”

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1. Scientific tests find that when women make love, they produce double amounts of the hormone estrogen, which make hair shiny and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscles in the body. It’s more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps and you don’t need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases the body endorphin into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquillizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than Valium.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

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A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his deplorable habits when suddenly the woman reached over and sliced the man’s penis off. Angrily, she tossed it out the car window.

Driving behind the couple was a man and his 6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacked their car windshield, stuck for a moment, then flew off.

Surprised, the daughter asked her father, “Daddy, what the heck was that?”

Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied, “It….it was only a bug, Honey.”

The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after a moment said..

“Sure had a big dick, didn’t it?”

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