This guy says to his buddy, “You’ll never believe what happened last
night.”

“Why?” his buddy asks. “What happened?”

The first guy says, “Last night the doorbell rang, and when I opened
the door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch. She asked
me, ‘Can I stay here for a few days?’”

“Wow,” says his buddy. “What’d you tell her?”

“I said, ‘Of course, you can,’ and shut the door.”

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.

So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.
After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man’s new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.. He said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?”

“My darling,” she replied,
“I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

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A young lady comes home from a date, rather sad.

Her mother asks, “What’s the matter, Honey?”
“Anthony proposed to me an hour ago.”

“Then why are you so sad?”

“Because he’s an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a Hell!”

“Marry him anyway. dear. Between the two of us, we’ll show him just
how wrong he really is.”

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DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES LET’S RECOUNT

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

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