At school little Johnny learns about medicines.
The lady teacher asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know
and what they are used for.

The first pupil said, "Tylenol."
"Very good said the teacher. and what is it used for?"
"It is used for headache."

The second pupil said, "Nytol."
"Excellent. And what it is used for?"
"To help you sleep."

Now it is Johnny’s turn and he says, "Viagra."
"Johnny, what is it used for?"
"I think it can be used for diarrhea."

"Who told you this the teacher asks?"
"Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father take a Viagra, maybe that little shit will get harder."

The teacher faints!

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The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class
one morning and she asked the question,
‘When you die and go to Heaven… which part of your body
goes first?

Suzy raised her hand and said, “I think it’s your hands.”
“Why do you think it’s your hands, Suzy?”

Suzy replied, “Because when you pray, you hold your
hands together in front of you and God just takes your
hands first.
‘What a wonderful answer!” the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said,
“Sister, I think it’s your feet.”

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.

“Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?”

Little Johnny said, “Well, I walked into Mommy and
Daddy’s bedroom the other Night Mummy had her legs
straight up in the air and she was saying,
“Oh! God, I’m coming!”

If Dad hadn’t pinned her down, we’d have lost her.”

The Nun fainted.

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A City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street;
when little Johnny on his new shiny bike stopped beside him.

“Nice bike,” the cop said “Did Santa bring it to you?”
“Yep,” little Johnny said, “he sure did!”

The cop looked the bike over and handed little Johnny
a ticket for a safety violation.

The cop said, “Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light
on the back of it.”

Little Johnny looked up at the cop and said,
“Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?”
“Yes, he sure did,” chuckled the cop.

Little Johnny looked up at the cop and said,
“Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.”

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After the christening of his baby brother in church,
five-year-old little Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quiet.
Very softly he started to cry until his father noticed him
sobbing.

“What’s wrong, little Johnny?” asked his father.

Between sniffles little Johnny replied, “That priest said he
wanted us brought up in a Christian home, an-an-and I want
to stay with YOU guys!”

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