Little Johnny likes to gamble. One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city. Johnny’s daddy thinks, “I’ll get a head start on Johnny’s gambling.” So he calls the teacher and says, “My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you’ll have to keep an eye on him.” The teacher says OK, she can handle it.

The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, “Hi, my name is Johnny.” She says yes I know who you are. Johnny smiles and says, “I bet you ten dollars you’ve got a mole on your butt.”

The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet. She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole.

That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why. So his dad calls the teacher and says, “Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost.”

The teacher says, “Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem.” Johnny’s dad laughs and says, “No you didn’t, he bet me a hundred dollars this morning that he’d see your ass before the day was over.”

• 0 Comments

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife
looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when
little Johnny interrupted.

“My Mommy looked back once while she was DRIVING,”
he announced triumphantly, “and she turned into a telephone pole!”

• 0 Comments

The teacher was warning the class about the dangers of going out in cold weather improperly dressed.

“There was one boy,” she said, “who was so eager to go out and play with his sled that he didn’t put a coat or scarf on.

He caught a chill, the chill led to pneumonia… and he died!”

The teacher paused to allow the moral of this story to sink in, when little Johnny asked,

“What happened to the sled?”

• 0 Comments

At school little Johnny learns about medicines.
The lady teacher asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know
and what they are used for.

The first pupil said, "Tylenol."
"Very good said the teacher. and what is it used for?"
"It is used for headache."

The second pupil said, "Nytol."
"Excellent. And what it is used for?"
"To help you sleep."

Now it is Johnny’s turn and he says, "Viagra."
"Johnny, what is it used for?"
"I think it can be used for diarrhea."

"Who told you this the teacher asks?"
"Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father take a Viagra, maybe that little shit will get harder."

The teacher faints!

• 0 Comments