Golf — a good walk spoiled, and an infuriating game that

brings out the worst and very worst in people.

Why was it called golf?

Simply because all the other four letter words were taken.

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A recent study found the average American golfer walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found American golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means, on average, American golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Makes a golfer feel proud.

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A man got on a bus with both of his front pockets full
of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls.”

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for
a very long time, thinking about what he had said.

After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity
any longer, she asked, “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”

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A man and his wife were having an argument in bed.
He finally jumped up and took a blanket to the couch.

The next day the wife feeling bad about what happened decided to buy her husband a gift, and since he was an avid golfer she went to the pro shop where he usually played golf.

She talked with the pro and he suggested a putter and he showed her one of his finest. “How much is it?” she asked. “One hundred and fifty dollars,” he replied.

She felt that was kind of expensive and told him so. “But it comes with an inscription,” he said. “What kind of inscription?” she asked. “Whatever you wish,” he explained, “but one of the old golfers favorites is, NEVER UP, NEVER IN.’”

“OH, that will never do!” exclaimed the wife. “That’s what started the argument in the first place!”

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