A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything
costs one dollar.

He jumps at the offer and heads off for a weekend of fun in the sun.

He arrives and plays a round of golf. It cost him a buck.

His room is only a buck a day!

When he goes for dinner that evening, it costs him another buck.

The day before he’s to check out, he heads out to play a last round
and stops by the pro shop and charges a sleeve of three balls to his
room.

When he’s checking out next morning, he looks at the bill and sees:

Golf: $1.00
Dinner: $1.00
Room: $1.00
Sleeve of golf balls: $3,000.00

Calling over to the manager, he asks, “What is this all about?
Everything is supposed to cost one dollar and you charged me three-
thousand dollars for three golf balls?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” said the manager, “but you didn’t read the fine
print in our promotional brochure. That’s what our golf balls cost.”

“Well,” said the man, “if I wanted to spend that kind of money, I
could gone to that luxury hotel across the street and paid them a
thousand dollars a day for a room. At least I would’ve known what I
was paying for!”

“That’s right, sir, you could have,” said the manager. “There, they
get you by the room. Over here, we get you by the balls!”

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My wife and I had been married for several months before we had our
first big fight.

One day she asked me that if she died before I did if
I would get married again. I told her, “Yes.”

She then asked me if I would let her sleep in our bed.

I told her, “Yes.” She then asked me
if I would let her wear her clothes. I told her “Yes.”

She then asked me if I would let her use her golf clubs. I told her “no”.
She finally asked me why I would not let her use them and I
replied, “She is left handed!”

“I came too four days later in the hospital.”

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A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him.

He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing. ‘I’m on the 7th hole,’ she replied, ‘and you are a hole behind me. So you must be on the 6th hole.’ He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request. ‘I’m on number 14, and you’re still a hole behind, so you must be on the 13th hole.’ Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.

He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, ‘Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help I understand that you’re in the sales profession.

I’m in sales also. What do you sell?’
‘I’ll tell you, but you’re going to laugh,’ she replied.
‘No, I won’t.

‘Well, if you must know,’ she answered, ‘I work for Tampax.
With that, he laughed so hard he lost his balance and fell off the barstool.

‘See,’ she said. ‘I knew you’d laugh!
‘That’s not what I’m laughing at,’ he replied, ‘I’m a salesman for Preparation H, so I’m still a hole behind you.’

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Golf — a good walk spoiled, and an infuriating game that

brings out the worst and very worst in people.

Why was it called golf?

Simply because all the other four letter words were taken.

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