• If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE.
• If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes.
• If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner.
• If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place.
• If you look forward to the holidays only to put together the kids’ toys.
• If you window shop at Radio Shack.
• If you don’t even know where the cover to your personal computer is.
• If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven.
• If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
• If you truly believe aliens are living among us.
• If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
• If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
• If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
• If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.
• If you have more toys than your kids.
• If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
• If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight.
• If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don’t work, and you rush up to the front to fix it.
• If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary.
• If you can type 70 words a minute but can’t read your own handwriting.
• If people groan at the party when you pick out the music.
• If your checkbook always balances.
• If your wrist watch has more buttons than a telephone.
• If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
• If you thought the real heroes of Apollo 13 were the mission controllers.
• If you’ve ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio.
• If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory.
• If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate (or Chinese, pizza, beer, etc).

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Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT what kind of a salary he was looking for.

“In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”

“Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years…say, a red Corvette?”

“Wow! Are you kidding?”

“Yeah, but you started it.”

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Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”

The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want.’”

The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

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