A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an
amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the
mother’s labor pain to the baby’s father. He asked if they were willing
to try it out.

Both said they were very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain
transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more
pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor
to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband
was still feeling fine.

The doctor then checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at
how well he was doing… At this point they decided to try for 50%.
The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the
husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain,
and the husband had experienced none.

She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home they found the UPS man dead on the porch.

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A man was in a terrible accident, and his “manhood” was mangled and torn from his body.

His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic.

The Dr. said that the cost would be $3500 for “small,” $6500 for “medium,” and $14,000 for “large.”

The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the Dr. urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.

The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.

The Dr. came back into the room, and found the man looking quite rejected. “Well, what have the two of you decided?” asked the Dr.

The man answered, “She’d rather remodel the kitchen.”

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An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly
physical, his wife tagging along.

When the doctor enters the examination room,
he tells the old man,
“I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm
sample.”

The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his
wife and yells: “WHAT?
What did he say? What’s he want?”

His wife yells back, “He needs your underwear!”

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A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out.

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial; he decided to change careers and became an auto mechanic.

He found out from the local technical college what was involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently and learned all he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynaecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor saying, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding
result, but I wondered if there has been an error that needs adjusting?”

The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly which is also worth 50% of the mark.”

The instructor went on to say, “I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler.

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