Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her,
“I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive.

That would be no quality of life at all, If that ever happens,
just pull the plug.”

So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

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What do Microsoft and a halter top have in common?

Both offer very little support!

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Nice Set of Floppies !

Hey, how ’bout I take off your cover and insert a bigger CPU.

I’d like to play on your laptop.

Need me to unzip your files?

If you were an ISP I’d dial you all day long I’d like to boot up your PC !

I’ll bet my hard drive is the biggest you’ve ever seen.

I’ve got a 21 inch… (monitor)

I’d get a T3 to watch your streaming video…

Your homepage or mine?

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As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g.,
“Steady as she goes” or “She’s listing to starboard, Captain!”)
Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that
computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for
drawing this conclusion follow:

Five reasons to believe computers are female:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. The message “Bad command or file name” is about as informative as, “If
you don’t know why I’m mad at you, then I’m certainly not going to tell
you.”
4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later
retrieval.
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half
your paycheck on accessories for it.

However, another group of computer scientists, (all female) think that
computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their reasons follow:

Five reasons to believe computers are male:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE
the problem.
3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little
longer, you could have obtained a better model.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

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