A grandmother was pushing her grandchild
around Wal-Mart in a buggy. Each time she
put something in the basket, she would say,
“And here is something for you, Diploma,” or
“This will make a cute little outfit for you,
Diploma,” and so on.

Eventually a bewildered shopper who had
heard all this finally asked, “Why do you keep
calling your grandchild Diploma?”

The grandmother replied, “I sent my daughter
to college and this is what she came home with!”

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10. You can usually find someone to do it with.

9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.

8. You can finish early with-out feelings of guilt or shame.

7. When you open a book, you don’t have to worry about who else has opened it.

6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.

5. If you don’t finish a chapter you won’t gain a reputation as a "book teaser."

4. You can do it, eat and watch TV all at the same time.

3. You don’t get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.

2. You don’t have to put your beer down to do it.

And the #1 reason studying is better than sex..
1. If you aren’t sure what you’re doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.

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10. It doesn’t bother me at all that my college roommate is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.

9. I’d be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.

8. My work has a lot of practical importance.

7. I wouldn’t never date an undergraduate.

6. Your latest article was so inspiring.

5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.

4. I just have on more book to read and then I’ll start writing.

3. The department is giving me so much support.

2. My job prospects look really good.

And the #1 lie told by Graduate Students…
1. No really, I’ll be out of here in only two more years!

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A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work.

The manager greeted him with a warm handshake anda smile, gave him a broom and said,
“Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”

“But I’m a college graduate.” the young man replied indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager.

“Here, give me the broom, I’ll show you how.”

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