The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy!

I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but I started jumping up and down along with her.

She said, “I have some really great news!” I said, “Great. Tell me why you’re
so happy.” She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant!

I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, “That’s great! I
couldn’t be happier for you.”

Then she said, “There’s more.” I asked, “What do you mean more?”

She said, “Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS.”

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.

She said…
“I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack.

Both tests came out positive!”

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Have you ever wondered what a blonde does after

crashing her car?

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A blonde was driving home, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to the repair shop.

The shop owner decided to have some fun, and told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard & all the dents would pop out. So, she went home, got down on her hands & knees and started blowing into her tailpipe.

Nothing happened. She blew a little harder & still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What the heck are you doing?" She told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow in the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

Her roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, Hello! You need to roll up the windows first!"

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A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my eyes."

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