Two Redneck hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bulls. The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.

They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected he said, “The plane can take out only four of your elk. You will have to leave two behind.”

One of the hunters pushed forward, “Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. It was the same model plane, same weather conditions, and everything. What’s with this? We want you to allow us to fly out just like last year.

Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk aboard and the men all climbed in with their gear. But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it. They crashed in the wilderness.

Climbing out of the wreckage, one Redneck said to the other, “Do you know where we are?”

“I think so,” replied the other Redneck. “Yep! I think this is about 100 yards further along than where we crashed last year!”

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Retirement is different for everyone.
One day, while going to the store, Bubba passed by a nursing home. On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass. Bubba thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on his way to the store.

On Bubba’s return trip, he passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn. This time his curiosity got the best of him.
So, he went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator.

“Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?”

“Yes,” she said. “They ‘re retired prostitutes, and they’re having a yard sale.!”

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A man came home from the office and found his new bride sobbing convulsively.
“I feel terrible,” she told him. “I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole
in the seat of your trousers.”

“Oh, just forget it,” consoled her husband.
“Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

“Yes, I know. And it’s lucky you have!” said the woman, drying her eyes.

“I was able to use a piece from them to patch the hole!”

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