* Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

* Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

* There are 3 kinds of people: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.

* Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

* A client asked his lawyer how to plead. The lawyer said, “On your knees!”

* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.

* At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

* The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money.

* I’ve changed my mind a dozen times. It seems to work better now.