"Well Bubba, how are you getting on with trying to date that new cocktail waitress?"

"Not so bad. I’m getting some encouragement now."

"Really, is she beginning to smile sweetly at you or something?"

"Not exactly, but last night she said that she’s said ‘NO’ for the last time."

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Two redneck football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Sugar Bowl the following week.
The exam was fill-in-the-blank.
The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a _________.”

Bubba was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn’t watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. “Pssst. Tiny. What’s the answer to the last question?”

Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn’t noticed then he turned to Bubba. “Bubba, you’re so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a farm.”

“Oh yeah,” said Bubba. “I remember now.” He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Reaching to tap Tiny’s shoulder again, he whispered, “Tiny, how do you spell farm?”

“You are really dumb, Bubba. That’s so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O.”

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Hillary or Obama?

Why choose if you can combine?

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A cannibal was walking in the jungle and came upon a restaurant
operated by a fellow cannibal.  Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu…

Tourist: $5
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The cannibal called the cook over and asked,  "Why such a price
difference for the politicians?"

The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They’re so full of crap it takes all morning."

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