There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them.

As they entered their late teens the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date. This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young man at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss.

The doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived. Father answered the door and the lad said, “Hi, my name’s Joe, I’m here for Flo. We’re going to the show, is she ready to go?” The father looked him over and sent the kids on their way.

The next lad arrived and said, “My name’s Eddie, I’m here for Betty, we’re gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?” Father felt this one was okay too, so off the two kids went.

The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door. The boy started off, “Hi, my name’s Chuck… –” and the farmer shot him.

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Little Johnny goes to the hospital with his Grandma to visit his
ailing Grandpa.

When they get to the hospital, Little Johnny runs ahead of his
Grandmother and bursts into his Grandfather’s room.

“Grandpa! Grandpa!” he says excitedly, “…..as soon as Grandma
comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!”

“What?” said his surprised Grandpa.

“Please, Grandpa, make a noise like a frog because Grandma
said that as soon as you croak, we’re going to Disney World!”

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2,000 years ago, Moses said, “Pick up your shovel, pack your ass, mount your camel and I shall lead you to the Promised Land.”

200-plus years ago, George Washington said, “Get off your ass, use your shovel, clear the land, grow plants for camels and it will be the Promised Land.”

Last year, the Congress of the United States said “Si, Amigos, throw away your shovel, sit on your ass, light your Camels, we’re giving you the Promised Land.”

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Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles
refinery.

A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having the same
qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the
questions.

The manager went to Bubba and said: “Thank you for your interest but
we’ve decided to give the Yankee the job.”

Bubba asked, “And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine
questions correct. This being Louisiana, and me being a Southern boy
I should get the job!”

The manager said, “We have made our decision not on the correct
answers, but rather on the one question that you both missed.”

Bubba then asked; “And just how would one incorrect answer be better
than the other?”

The manager replied, “Bubba, it’s like this… on question #4, the
Yankee put down, “I don’t know.”
And you put down, “Neither do I.”

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