1. George Bush starts to make sense.

2. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after biting you.

3. Your job is interfering with your drinking.

4. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not!

5. Hey, five beers has just as many calories as a burger — forget dinner!

6. You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.

7. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

8. The glass keeps missing your mouth.

9. The whole bar says “Hi” when you walk in.

10. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

11. You sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive fifth food group.

12. “BeerTender! Get me another Bar!”