A man was called into his bank to discuss his accounts.

"Your finances are in terrible shape," the banker stated. "Yourchecking account is overdrawn, your loan is overdue."

"Yes, I know." said the man. "It's my wife, she is out of control."

"Why do you allow your wife to spend more money than you have?"asked the banker.

"Frankly," replied the man with a deep sigh, "because I'd ratherargue with you than with her."

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The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!

The man said, “You can’t be serious, I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into ! the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks” she said. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

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Please take a moment to remember those who have died for our Country
and also Thank those who are currently serving in our Armed Forces.
http://memorial-day.gowally.com/

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A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a
busy lunchtime.

They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit
complete with pager.

As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly, ‘Gee
she’s fat!’

The mother bent down and whispered in the little boys ear to
be quiet.

A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread his
hands as far as they would go and announced; ‘I’ll bet her
butt is thiswide!’

The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy.

The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be
quiet.

After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the
line. Just then her pager begin to emit a beep, beep, beep.

The little boy yells out, ‘Run for your life, she’s backing up!!

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